The crossover absolutely no one asked for
Can you tell me how to get — how to get to Terrasen?
Chaotic. Dramatic. Refers to herself in third person energy. Absolutely convinced she is the main character of everyone's story — and honestly? She's right. Burns hot, loves harder.
Humorless. Obsessed with order. Perpetually exasperated by the chaotic creature he's bonded to. Has a secret soft side he'll deny to his dying breath. Collects grievances the way Bert collects paperclips.
Lives in darkness. Claims to hate everyone. Secretly has a heart of gold under all that filth and fury. Don't you dare suggest she's being nice — she'll bite your head off. Literally, in Manon's case.
The cultured, well-read one surrounded by chaos. Tries to bring order and thoughtfulness to situations that devolve into mayhem. Perpetually sighing at the destruction around them while reading a book.
Wait — Chaol is Ernie? Yes. The earnest best friend. Genuinely good. A little naive about the darkness in the world. Tries so hard to do the right thing. Bert (Rowan) replaced him and he's still processing it.
Boundless energy. Throws himself bodily at every problem. "Super Grover" is basically Aedion showing up to every battle half-cocked and fully committed. Exhausting in the best way.
Ancient. Enormous. Lumbers around looking intimidating. For years nobody believed he existed. Turns out he's just a big sad boy who wants one friend. Elide is his Big Bird.
Warm, loyal, and bilingual (Fenrys speaks wolf). Both trapped between two worlds and finding family where they land. Smiles through the pain.
A squad of creatures of the night who fly in formation and serve their leader with unwavering devotion. Technically bats, not witches, but the energy is identical. Thirteen! Ah ah ah!
Steady, capable, never needs to be the loudest in the room. Gets the job done while everyone else is having a meltdown. Quietly holds everything together.
Kind. Brave in a quiet way. Sees the best in people (even grouches and ancient Fae warriors). Navigates a scary world with gentleness and somehow survives everything. The emotional core.
Arrived new in town, studied magic relentlessly, and became one of the most powerful forces on the street. Underestimate the fairy-in-training at your own peril.
A shapeshifter's spirit animal is... a lamb who's secretly running the show. Cute exterior, strategic mastermind underneath. Nobody suspects the lamb.
The wise, principled heart of the community. Tells it like it is. Everyone relies on her. When she's gone, nothing feels the same. The street — and Rifthold — are emptier without her.
Immortal. Obsessive. Counts the centuries of manipulation the way the Count counts everything else. Ancient beings with a flair for the dramatic and a cape that never quits.
An endless, consuming darkness that defies logic. Nobody knows how deep it goes. It just wants to swallow everything. It has a swimming pool down there, apparently.
The bumbling authority figure who thinks he's in charge. Constantly showing up making demands while everyone else does the actual work. Possessed by dark forces? In Mr. Johnson's case, just bad management.
Snuffy gets a second match because he IS Abraxos. Enormous, gentle, misunderstood, loves flowers, just wants a friend. The most wholesome giant creature in fiction. Twice.
The big, lovable, slightly chaotic dog. Knocks things over. Licks faces at inappropriate moments. Has never had a bad thought. The purest souls in their respective universes.
Shows up, does cryptic magic, creates more problems than they solve, disappears. "A la peanut butter sandwiches!" is basically what Elena's plans amount to.
Literally an inanimate object with opinions. Snarky. Judges everyone who walks past. Cannot physically leave. Has seen too much. The most relatable character in both universes.
Yes, Snuffleupagus got two matches. Yes, I accidentally crossed into Muppet territory twice. No, I will not apologize. The Venn diagram of Sesame Street and Muppets is a circle in my heart. Today's sorting was brought to you by the letter A (for Aelin) and the number 13 (for the Thirteen).